I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
