a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
