New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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