Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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