how can u be prego again
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
