I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize