I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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