somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize