I wish I could punch you in the face.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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