Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
