i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
