dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
