I want to stick my p in your. b.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
