oh god the rape fog is back!
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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