I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
