He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
