dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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