We're like a lot better than the average bears
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
