haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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