I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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