Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize