so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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