i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
