Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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