So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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