i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
