So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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