4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I need a beard to bite.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
