And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
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