Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize