She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
