I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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