whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize