ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
