I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Randomize