That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
