Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
