haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
