dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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