haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
