So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize