i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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