It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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