if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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