wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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