Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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