Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
