No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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