I wish life had little blips of pornography
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize