this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
