You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
