We're facebook friends in real life
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
