I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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