That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my shit smells like andre
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
