and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
