One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
