how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
