Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
