we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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