my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize