I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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