yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
