I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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