I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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