Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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