I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
