Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
