oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Randomize
